Tales from beyond the snake.

HEY.

It's been so long since I last updated but hopefully word will spread(common mom!)
The reason I haven't been posting is...well it's that...it's just...uhhh, crap. Okay so I forgot to update once and then all this really cool stuff happend and then more cool things happend and it all just piled up and I got scared...and I'm Lazy. But MOSTLY scared.

So, last update we were in southern Vietnam if I recall correcty, well now we're in Laos a month and a half later about to head to Bangkok. So, according to my calculator watch...that's about 41 days ago. Time has flown by at a moderately hastened pace, ok more like a fast walk, or a jog. Ok so time has jogged by, but regardless, it's been 41 days sans update and that's a long time without information. I was just thinking, today is Joanna and mine's 112 day since we've been traveling! that's crazy, it doesn't feel like it's been almost Four Months.

I think the reason I've been thinking about home a lot recentely is because Joanna is Leaving Bangkok on March 1st for London for a few weeks, and five hours after her plane takes-off, Jena will be arriving in Bangkok. Woah. That is such a bizarre coincidence, and I dare say a little clandestine that without speaking to one another they managed to book flights that co-ordinate so well so that I spend a grand total of about 7 hours alone. I'm really happy that it happend like that, because Bangkok would be very bad place to feel lonely. I'm so excited to see Jena again! I can't even believe we're actually meeting up in Bangkok on the other side of the world. It will be a very hard for my mind to accept that Jena is actually here, occupying phyisical space. I get the feeling that when we meet we will spend an incredible amount of time looking eachother up and down and pinching ourselves in shock and disbelief before we actually manage to blurt out a "hello!". I think it'll be cute though, and I can't wait for it!

Ok ok ok,
Back to what we've been up to;
After drinking snakes blood in Dalat, we headed north to Nha-Trang, where we befriended a Dj(Wang) and waiter(Fouk (I'm not making these names up I swear.)) at the nightclub across the street from our hotel(007 cafe Oolahlah), who showed us where to actually eat snake, and drink it's delicious blood. Muwhahahaha. But for real, we ate and drank a snake, it was awesome. The restaurant was actually a streetside cafe, with no menus, and was a very typical local vietnamese place to eat(aka NO tourists.) and after a long game of "Who can make the best Snake with their hands" we made ourselves clear and sat down for our meal. When they(Vietnamese restaurant owner/chef) kill a snake, they drain the blood into a 3 ounce shot glass, and take out the heart and gallbladder, which are the most nutritious organs. The waitress came to our tiny table with the glass of blood, and a plate with the still beating snake heart, and gallbladder to gulp down before we ate the rest of the snake. Kfir did the honours of swallowing the heart and gallbladder, and I had a shot of the blood and Jo had but a taste. I won't lie to you, the blood tasted pretty gnarley, afterall, it was fresh and a bit warm, and tasted just like blood...but other than that it was awesome. The snake however was delicious, and we even got our own tableside BBQ to cook it on! The two vietnamese men sitting beside us were kind enough to show us how to eat it properly, and it tasted a like rubbery chicken, like frog I guess. Anyway, it was delicious, and I'd eat it again if I was given the oppurtunity.

Also, if everyone could refrain from telling me how inhumane and cruel it is blah blah blah... I'm not a heartless robot, and I know what I did was a bit cruel, but I was merely tasting the culture, not snake.

Also, it was delicious.

In Nha-Trang there is a giant buddha on top of a hill with a temple/monastary below it. Not really anything out of the ordinary for Asia, ok at all out of the ordinary. But it was at this Pagoda(In Vietnam the Wat's are called Pagodas because of the more chinese leaning buddhism they teach there.) that Kfir and I met a very nice and incredibly generous monk named Wang-Tu. After being led on a non-official tour by a local school kid and being demanded large sums of money we refused to pay, the con-artist that was the kid acted as a translator to Wang-tu, helping us learn more about Vietnamese buddhism, like how to pray properly in a temple, and to do some meditating/Kung-fu. Kfir showed Wang-tu some Thai-boxing stances, and the monk invited us in for dinner. Wang-Tu took us to a little restaurant attached to the monastary and ordered us some really good vegitarian food, and we conversed as best we could, because he knew very little english. At the end of our meal, Kfir and I were expecting to pay, but Wang-Tu refused, and paid for our meal. We were very honourned that he would buy us food, because monks cannot make money, they can only receive and it as a gift. We went back to our guesthouse and promised we would visit again the next day and help him with his english.

The Next day we went back, and this time he had a pocket translator with him hat had the most hillarious pickup lines ever, like "Your eyes shine like the moon" and "your curves are like that of an hour glass". Very useful to a celibate buddhist monk by the way. Kfir made a joke about getting some monk robes, and Wang-Tu said that the Pagoda had a souvenir shop that sold the very same monk garb that the monks wear. Kfir and I were on it like a flash. For $5 I got myself a legitimate Vietnamese monk robe! YeeHah! Before we left, Wang-Tu bought Kfir some prayer beads, and he bought me, me with all the money, a book on the 8 paths to self development, which is in Vietnamese and English. I was thinking about wearing the robe on the planeride home and totally freaking my mom out, comming off the plane and being all like "Namo I ee dafug" which is the proper way to greet a monk in Vietnam, and see what she'd do. I think I can hold myself back, but only just.

After Nha-Trang Joanna parted ways with me and Kfir to spend a week with her father who happened to be in Saigon. Kfir and I headed north to a little town called Hoi-an.

Hoi-an is on what used to be the border between North and South Vietnam, so there was a lot of fighting there to say the least. It also happens to be the "Town of one million tailors" according to local scholars, like myself. ok ok, it's not actually called The "town of a million tailors", but I'm not kidding when I say there are about one million tailors crammed into 5 city blocks. Kfir and I had clothing and shoes made for near child-labour prices.(remeber, not a heartless robot, just an oppurtunist) And spent about 4 days there just chilling out and having clothes made. I had a whole suit made that actually fits me(thank you Jesus) with really nice material for $60, a price I wouldn't have gotten without bartering for half an hour(and without Kfir). To go with the suit I bought some Silver cufflinks, and had my initials engraved into them for $10. I had custom tailored shoes made for me with my name embroidered into the Chuck Taylor logo for about $15. I spent a lot of money those few days but it was totally worth it.

I don't know if I've said this before but Kfir is the biggest Joker ever. He talks and laughs with everybody he meets, regarless of the language barrier. And one night at the internet cafe near our guest house, Kfir managed to joke and talk us into having dinner and rice wine with the owner and his wife. The man could speak english well, and we got to talk about everything that's happened in Hoi-an, and his views on the communist rule of Vietnam presentley. Hoi-an was part of the south, so he always leaned naturally to capitalism and western ideals, which was interesting to me, because the young people we've met always say things like "Forget about the past, what happened in vietnam is in the past, only look Forward." as if forgetting would shed their turbulent past, and allow them to move forward with peace and wealth. This older man was full of opinions, and it was a very cool experience to talk with him, and share his bottle of homebrewed rice wine.(which is very strong I have to tell you.) So, feeling contented we kept moving north.

The next stop was a town called Hue.(much to Kfir's excitment and laughter, means "penis" in Russian) Hue was HELLA boring, but had amazing tempura prawns, so we left the next day to Hanoi.

Hanoi is a Beautiful City, there are trees in the middle of the pavement, a lake in the middle of the city, and about three motorbikes for every vietnamese person that lives there. All of the guesthouses are located in the old quarter of town, but much to my surprise and delight,(yes, delight.) the old quarter wasn't a tourist trap at all. In fact, every shop that a tourist shopped at, locals shopped at. Obviously at more discounted prices, but Hanoi is above all a Vietnamese city. And that's part of why I fell in love with it, and all of Vientam actually, Vietnamese culture is NOT based around tourism, unlike Cambodia and Laos, and in large part, Thailand now, so I always felt like I was more of an observer and less of a dollar sign with crazy piercings and hippy clothes,(Ok I always feel a bit like a hippy over here, but that's besides the point.) The Vietnamese people are always working or going somewhere, and tourists just happen to be on the streets. There are of course restaurants and activities that cater to tourists, but this industry in but a fraction of the society as a whole.

Kfir and I visited The Monastary and Temple where the Vietnamese phillosipher and budhist teacher lived and taught. The Temple grounds are beautiful, surrounded by a 10 foot wall that almost blocks out the sound of the busy city bussling around it. We also visited the Ho Chi Minh Museum, where we gazed upon a lot of cool war relics and exhibits surrounding Uncle Ho as the people so fondley call him. Unlike Western Museums, all the relics, even those of HoChiMinh himself, are guarded only by think plexiglass, although, if you did manage to take anything there are armed guards guarding is preserved body a few hundred feet away. That's right, Ho Chi Minh's preserved body, open daily between 8 and 11 am daily, except for tuesdays and sundays. Unfortunately, we didn't get to see his body because we were a little late to the party(by which I mean Uncle Ho's corpse viewing party...ha..ha) because we slept in :(

Kfir's Visa ran out on the 29th, and Jo arrived in Hanoi on the 28th, so we parted ways.(Kfir to China, and us to Ha long bay, Vietnam.) But this would not be the last time we crossed, oh no, we would meet later in slow moving Laos, for a few beers and some Laolao. But that comes later, back to the story. Jo and I took a three day boat trip to Ha-Long bay, which is an archipelago made up of 1,999 islands in the South China Sea. The boat ride was beautiful, and we were taken on a cheesy/mildly entertaining/beautiful tour of a big cave on one of the islands. The islands in Ha long bay jut out of the water like stalgmites, often not flat enough to live on, but incredibly amazing to see. We met 8 other like minded young people on our boat, some of whom brought some rice vodka,(tastes like yeast, ewwww) I brought my acoustic guitar, and a yabadabadoo time was had ontop of the boat beneath the stars. There is something very surrealistic about drinking rice vodka and singing "California Dreaming" at the top of my drunken lungs with 8 total strangers from all over the world in one of the most beautiful places in the world. It really makes you stop and wonder, "Is this really happening?" and the answer of course is "Hell yeah, Hallelujah!" Because at the time, there is a rule stating "One must cry out "Hallelujah!" whenever one drinks."

oh, memories *sighs*

The rest of the trip was cool too, and we climbed another mountain, and ate a lot of oreos. That's one thing that Vietnam does better than any other country we've visited, SWEETS. Vietnamese sugar palats must be similar to Canadian sugar palats, because nothing that said "candy" on it tasted like fish(like in Thailand, CURSE YOU MANGO FRUIT LEATHER!) and they have real Kraft Oreos'. Oh my god I must have eaten 50 rolls of those things while we were there. Once you start eating them you can't stop, and it wasn't just me and Jo either, every second tourist we saw had a package of them(great minds think a like, also legions of depraved tourists that don't like fish flavoured "candy" think a like too.)

So after the three days, we headed back to Hanoi and got ourselves some bus tickets and visas to Laos. That was around the 2nd of Febuary I do believe. We also got ourselves some Valium from the pharmacy down the street for our agonizing 28 hours bus ride to Vientiane, Laos. So with all of our Souvenirs(aka clothing for ourselves :( we really tried to buy things for you I swear!) we packed our bags and hopped on a bus to Laos. Bus travel in Vietnam was really good on the whole, no delays, no annoying bus changes...Ooops! I spoke to soon, because on the way to Laos we had to change busses at 2 am and BAM! I forgot my little acoustic guitar :( It sucked, but by now, I've gotten used to losing stuff, it's just a part of traveling. I've learned that all I need is my Passport, credit card, and debit card. Everything else I could lost and be totally ok. A little bummed for sure, but I'd get over it. Anyways, I left behind my little guitar I bought in Saigon for $10, but the intonation was totally off and it wouldn't stay in tune anyway, so screw that guitar, I didn't even want it!(that's what I keep telling myself anyway)

So ends our grossly engrossing tale of Vietnam.

Next up:
Laos, The gruesome tale of the lazy tourists that couldn't get out of town to see much because everything moves so slowly here!

p.s.
I'm getting tired/Laos is calling me, so I'll write about laos when I'm doing nothing in Bangkok waiting for Joanna to be her haircut and Jena's plane to come. I PROMISE.